May 15, 2012
14 days ago I had surgery to correct a deviated septum. After years of breathing constrictions, and the knowledge that my entire father’s side of the family has had this surgery, I decided to look into it.
It turned out both my nostrils were severely blocked; one 90%. Ninety percent blocked of the most necessary and vital life force entering my body every few seconds! I had no idea my ability to breathe was that compromised. Well I guess what you don’t know can hurt you.
I’ve taken to the healing process, which was supposed to be about 4 days, and due to several rather unfortunate setbacks, I’ve been reduced to a vegetative state in bed for nearly two weeks; accompanied by blood, ice, lots of pain, family nurse-aids who come running to the ring of my bell, more blood, and did I mention an endless supply of painkillers?
This whole debacle hasn’t been all bad. It has provided a stroke of much needed insight. To my despair, it has forced me to slow down, to stop, and to receive. Which usually does not come easily to me. It seems over the last year of starting our own business the practical, logical, pragmatic Kelly has booted the creative Kel out the backdoor.
In this forced state of rest I’ve experienced a new vision of inspired creativity that I’ve felt blocked from for so long. I’ve been receiving countless great ideas, costume designs, art installations, show ideas, film scripts, acts of public engagement, etc. with such clarity and excitement.
I haven’t actually been capable of writing down these golden nuggets of inspiration. But what is important to note is that the first step of inspired creativity is to foster a nurturing ecosystem for these ideas to thrive and be conceptualized. What that requires is more REST, RELAXATION, and RESTORATION. Yes! Nothing more. Just the SPACE and TIME to allow myself to turn off the critical factor, check out, and check in to the infinite creative unfolding of the subconscious idea network. Just go into the space without the intention of “getting anything” or “coming up with something”. Just allow oneself the time and the quietude to be in that Space. It’s a Space where I’ve shunned myself from going over this last year, prioritizing “pragmatic and get-shiz-done” type of thinking instead. Now I’m eager to restore creative balance in my waking life.
My dear friend Maya Adjani helped me fully realize the other night, right before my last trip to the ER. She gave me a message, guided meditation, prepared me an elixir of fresh squeezed turmeric, kale, cucumber juice, and enveloped me in an aromatherapy ceremony for healing and restoration. After experiencing her nourishment first hand, I thought it beneficial to share with others that she is hosting a daylong retreat on June 2nd that will focus on Breath-work, Restorative Yoga, Raw Living Food, Movement, and Meditation. If you haven’t had the chance to experience her unique program first hand, I highly recommend it for the nourishment of your spirit!
I am so grateful for the support she offered me along with my beloved Jefe, and other members of my family who have been by my side everyday during this much needed time of restoration. I’m glad to say I’m on the road to recovery, and it’s been a transformational ride. Regardless of whether I come out the other side and can breathe better, at least I can already say I’m renewed with an ignited flame of the creative spirit.